Motivation = Momentum

Motivation has been lacking the past two weeks. Therefore the momentum that I was gaining pretty much stopped. It is a lot like when a big girl exercises. (At least this one anyway) I will start out strong but if I stop and sit for a few then I'm shot. I have lost all energy and therefore skill and/or effort.

Honestly, it's probably been more like a month of struggle. The good results I had been seeing quickly began to dissipate. I've found it hard to find the good as I watch the scale go back up, as I see the swelling of my gut. I've been tired or sick or busy and my efforts have been spotty. My eating habits have fallen back into bad habits, my exercise has been limited.

Time for a reset. Time to get to the root of the problem. Time to get back up and try again. 

I'm pretty sure this will be a continual cycle for me on this journey. If I dont figure some things out I'll be back where I started. 

So, I'm questioning this journey I'm on. What is my motivation? Why try?  In my devotional and Bible study I've been reading about and thinking about my life in the bigger picture. My weight loss/health journey can't be just about me looking good, feeling good, being healthy. The same with life in general. I'm a believer in a life with purpose. I want my life to have a positive impact on the world around me.
 I believe that each person has a God-given purpose. I believe I haven't always lived according to that purpose. How much time have I wasted trying to satisfy my wants and desires, filling voids with food, games, tv, books to try and fill a gap or not be disappointed with life. 

My purpose in life is not to satisfy me. 

Anything that I'm doing to just make life easier or to make life feel more stable or to take matters into my own hands hasn't worked. More money is nice for a while (it certainly helps me worry less about things) then it runs out. Food fills a gap for a while, but obviously I always want more. New games/shows/books keep me entertained, but the amusement ends or the show is over and I'm left wanting more. There are endless ways to satisfy that longing, but in the end it is always the same.

This is how I know my life is not about me. I was created with a purpose and I have a calling, and even if I'm questioning it lately I need to live according to that purpose.

On that note, why am I on this journey? Does it fulfill my calling? I dont know, but maybe I can't fulfill my calling and purpose if my body is not under control. Maybe I can't do God's next adventure if my weight is out of control (or fill in the blank with other areas of life- finances-relationships-family.)

So, I will continue this journey, I will find motivation and then the momentum can swing again. I cant do it alone- with God's help and encouragement and support of those that care I can do this. 

BTW. I went on a walk today for over an hour. I even jogged 5 intervals. It was hard, but it felt good. Yay! spring break! Please be the catalyst I need. 

Healthy recipe

I found this delicious recipe on Pinterest. https://pin.it/7lksiozbjn4lax
I made it ahead for dinner because I was going to be home late tonight. I had dad put it in the oven, so he could eat when he was ready. When I got home and had a chance to eat it, I was so pleased!
Definitely the best ground turkey I've had so far. Dad LOVED it, too. This will become a staple around this house.

Failed February

"Failed February."

Those are my thoughts as I weigh in another day to see the back and forth battle I've fought this month lose to back. Frustrated and at the point of tears, because this time I really want to meet this goal for me, a voice pops into my head, "Small victories." I settle down and think about the good. My clothes are getting too big, my energy level is higher, I see my body changing, the next days weigh in was .5lbs higher, but I didnt let it get me down and made good choices that day. 

Two days later, the scale is once again going the right direction. I know that days, weeks and months will be like this. However, I'm learning to keep going. In the past at this point I would just say whatever and go eat something I shouldn't. 

New month fresh start. I will have to work harder to achieve my goal now, but I can do this. I believe it for myself, but I know I can't do it alone. So, thankful for the Lord's help and for the support of my friends. Little bits of encouragement go a long way. ☺